BCA zealots smack down Access Bodies

Startling scenes occurred yesterday as the Youth and Development group of the BCA issued a stern word of warning for access controlling bodies: let the kids in, or we’ll boot you out.

The proclamation has sent shock waves rippling through the caving world, with those in charge of access traditionally used to sitting in dark corners cackling over cauldrons.

Dame Christine Fielding, a luminary in Mendip elite caving circles, said:”This is ridiculous. An access controlling body should be left to their own devices. Who cares if they ban people at random? They’ll be asking us to let people from Yorkshire in the caves next”

This is in stark contrast to the BCA stance, who’s jobsworth council member Bill Fern told Dankness: “people should be let in caves whenever they want and anyone who disagrees should be flogged”

The move marks a change to an increasingly authoritarian stance from the BCA, in order to “get the trains running on time” as they bid to actually do something of value for their paying membership.

One of the newest initiatives within this movement is the creation of a “BCA Youth”. Whilst seemingly normal on the outside, they are required to deify ex-BCA chairman Randy Crevice, as well as being taught a number of padlock breaking and lock picking techniques. The youngsters are also forced to recite the countryside rights of way act and take an entire class on the perils of landowner liability. After 6 weeks they are permitted to cave in Swildons but without the wet bits.

The team here at Dankness Below don’t really know what’s coming next for the organisations, but we are sure it will generate a few more articles¬†

BCA youth in a parade march dedicated to BCA luminaries Randy Crevice and Keith Corvus.