CNCC ‘Just Can’t Really Be Arsed Anymore’

Recent changes to permit systems in the Yorkshire Dales have led to the Council of Northern Caving Clubs admitting they just can’t be arsed with permits anymore.

Their ring leader Caulde Pooles, said, “We got together for a meeting and realised we’d rather be caving. Because of this we’re putting an awful amount of really good work into making ourselves redundant”.

By making everything available via the their website, including rigging topos, surveys, access details and permits, the council hopes to be fully automated and will someday only have to meet every 10 to 15 years.

“I just can’t be fucked anymore…” said a prominent member of the group “…the meetings are not in a pub”.

One member of the BCA council, with the unusual name Humdrum Comeatme, understood their predicament.“I have to attend BCA meetings and I would literally rather be dead”, he told us.

We tried to contact a “man on the ground” who actually mails out the permits, but all we got was an out of office autoreply saying “fuck off, gone digging”.

Journalist: Ethel Bangrod